We’re headed out to the ol’ pumpkin patch this week for a party thats less “killer” and more boring with THE PUMPKIN KARVER! This movie is bad, isn’t entertaining, features A LOT of misogyny and makes very little sense. It stars Michael Zara and Amy Weber as “teenage” brother and sister who go to a Halloween party for some reason and then their “friends” (who include Minka Kelly) get killed by a guy in a pumpkin mask… maybe. It isn’t really very clear if it was real or a hallucination or something else!
The Halloween spirit continues to possess us and this week we’re talking SATAN’S LITTLE HELPER! We give our thoughts on the Rabid remake(we hate it!) and then dive right into the movie. Written and directed by Jeff Lieberman, Satan’s Little Helper stars Katheryn Winnick as a girl home for Halloween and Amanda Plummer as her mother who are forced to suffer at the hands of a serial killer dressed as Satan because their garbage younger brother/son has lost touch with reality and thinks its all pretend. There’s a lot going on here and while its allegedly a ‘satire’, we don’t really buy it. Its entertaining but the characters really suck.
We’re rolling right along with our Halloween episodes this week as we talk Jag Mundhra’s 1988 slasher(?) HACK-O-LANTERN! We have a new theme song, Christopher makes Mitch drink his festive beer cocktail the Hexxenweizen, we talk briefly about The Young Cannibals(2019) and then we dive right into the movie. Hack-O-Lantern stars Carla B., Jeff Brown and Gregory Scott Cummins as Vera, Roger & Tommy; a trio of siblings subjected to the torment of their incestuous, cult-leader Grandfather(kind of) played by Hy Pyke and their kooky mother who loves mourning and gardening. There’s also Vera’s friend Beth, Tommy’s girlfriend Nora, a inexplicable stand-up comedian, death by corset, a snake charmer and a stripping saloon girl! IT’S NOT NATURE!!!
It’s the first of this year’s Halloween-themed episodes and we are kicking things off with 1981 slasher HELL NIGHT while enjoying sangria that is somehow Halloween-themed… it beats us. Hell Night stars Linda Blair, Suki Goodwin, Vincent Van Patten & Peter Barton as pledges tasked with spending the night in an old spooky mansion where some dude offed his whole family. It does not go well for them!
It’s our 75th episode!!! This week we celebrate the milestone by pitting 16 dogs from horror against each other until only one reigns supreme and is crowned the very first ‘Definitely First Blood Horror Hound’!
This week we’re hanging out with desert vampires with J.S. Cardone’s THE FORSAKEN! This 2001 take on a vampire tale sees Kerr Smith, Brendan Fehr and Izabella Miko trying to evade very attractive vamps played by Johnathon Schaech and Phina Oruche. Obviously heavily inspired by Near Dark and The Lost Boys this one misses the mark and doesn’t get where it wanted to. That said, its still an entertaining movie with some decent kills and eye candy.
Summer is coming to a close and we’re off the the carnival this week with DEATH SCREAMS aka HOUSE OF DEATH! This slasher starring Jennifer Chase, Susan Kiger and Andrea Savio suffers from behind-the-scenes rewrites and poor editing that leaves the final story disjointed and largely nonsensical. We hope that the footage still exists out there and one day somebody can cobble it together in a better way!
WARNING: SPOILERS!!! We review horror/comedy/thriller READY OR NOT! Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett and starring Samara Weaving, Andie MacDowell, Adam Brody & Mark O’Brien this film is A LOT of fun!
We’re headed back into the woods again this week to talk about Joe Giannone’s 1981 non-union slasher MADMAN! Gaylen Ross, Harriet Bass, Jan Claire, Alex Murphy, Tony Fish and Seth Jones star as counsellors at a camp being offed in classic slasher fashion by the legendary lunatic Madman Marz! It has elaborate jacuzzi twirling, decapitations and one of the worst hiding spots!
Get those grenade launchers ready because this week we’re talking about 1976 Jaws copycat from director William Girdler, GRIZZLY! This movie about a giant killer bear stars Christopher George, Andrew Prine & Richard Jaekel as a trio of pals trying to track down a man-eater terrorizing some sort of park or campground! It also had some wild behind-the-scenes drama and the star-studded sequel that never saw the light of day. We didn’t care for it!
We’ve got another “erotic” horror this episode as we talk about Brian De Palma’s DRESSED TO KILL! This American giallo stars Nancy Allen, Michael Caine, Keith Gordon and Angie Dickinson and features some really beautiful camera work, pacing and is, overall, pretty solid. It has a few issues under a modern lens but is aesthetically spot-on!
It’s our 69th episode and we’re celebrating the milestone with “erotic horror comedy” OUT OF THE DARK!!! This slasher follows the phone fantasy operators of ‘Suite Nothings’ as they’re stalked and murdered by Bobo the clown. Out of the Dark was written by Zane W. Levitt & J. Gregory De Felice, directed by Michael Schroeder and stars Lynn Danielson-Rosenthal, the legendary Karen Black, Starr Andreeff & Cameron Dye. It has a wild cast of amazing supporting characters like Divine, Tracey Walter, Geoffrey Lewis, Karen Witter, Lainie Kazan, Tab Hunter, Marcie Leeds, Bud Cort and Paul Bartel! We freakin’ loved this movie!